Am inceput un jurnal online si am scris in el pentru o vreme, cat de mult am ajutat? Nu stiu, dar pentru a o proteja pe mama mea draga, am ales sa scriu tot mai rar. Sanatatatea ei a suferit foarte mult de cand sufletut ei de mama sufera pentru mine.
Dupa CT scanul din Decembrie cand am aflat ca, cancerul nu a crescut deloc in ultimele luni, viata a inceput sa vina cumva mai catre normal. Nu am mai fost atat de cocolosita de cei din jusr si asta mi-a facut bine. Am continuat sa fiu eu , prioritatea mea numarul unu ( suna tara rau pentru o mama sa faca asta)si m-am ingrijit de nevoile trupului meu, iar apoi, in limitele puterii, am incercat sa ma mai ingrijesc si de cei din jurul meu.
Durerile de ficat sunt tot mai dese, chiar si atunci cand nu mananc, iar plamanii dor cand incerc sa ii umplu cu cat aer pot. Durerile de dupa trambulina s-au ameliorat dar nu au recut de tot. Dieta o continui si o tin cum trebuie, nici chiar de ziua mea nu mi-am facut hatarul de a gusta din felia de tort, si a fost bine, se poate sarbatori si fara zahar.
Am inceput, intre perioade, sa experimentez sangerari zilnice care nu ajuta deloc anemia cu care ma confrunt. Dr Dao mi-a recomnadat un Obgyn oncolog si chiar ieri am fost la programarea cu el( Dr. Koon). Dupa o foarte lunga asteptare, cand in sfarsit doctorul a venit, m-a intrebat de ce ma aflu acolo. Aceeasi intrebare am avut si de la doctorita ce venise cu cateva minute inaintea lui. Oare ei cred ca eu nu sunt constienta de gravitatea situatiei? Pentru ei nu face send ca o femeie de 46 de ani cu familie, sa refuze tratamentul de chimoterapie. L-am intrebat pe medic daca, bazat pe CT imi poate spune daca exista sau nu cancer in zona aceea si mi-a zis ca nu se poate pronunta. L-am instrebata daca sangerarile intre perioade sunt un simpton al prezentei cancerului si raspunsul lui a for: " Da! Ar putea sa fie cu totul alt fel de cancer sau poate sa fie acelasi fel de cancer ca la san." " Deci, se poate ca , cancerul triplu negativ sa coboare la organle genitale? " Si el mi-a confirmat ca este posibil. M-a intrebat daca, consider ca se merita sa trec prin cateva saptamani de recuperare tinind cont ca au recut aproape 6 luni din prognoza de 6-12 luni de viata. I-am spus care sunt retinerile mele cu privire la operatie, prima, faptul ca in procesul de recuperare de dupa operatie, corpul produce hormonul de crestere, de vindecare, care ar putea ajuta si cresterea cancerului. El mi-a raspuns canu neapatat, dar ca, intr-adevar, dupa operatie, sistemul imun se concentreaza pe vindecare, lasand cancerul pe locul 2 si asta l-as putea ajuta sa creasca. Iar a doua retinere, este ficatul ce ma doare si care in bombardat cu multa medicatie asociata cu operatia. Doctorul a comandat cateva analize de sange si ultrasound la pelvis. Spre surprinderea mea, in ultimele 3 saptamani, hemoglobina a crescut de la 9,2 la 9,9.
English
I started an online journal and wrote in it for a while, how much did I help? I don't know, but to protect my dear mother, I chose to write less and less. Her health has suffered a lot since her motherly soul suffers for me.
After the CT scan in December, when I found out that the cancer had not grown at all in the last months, life somehow started to return to normal. I have never been so hunched over by those in the jusr and that made me feel good. I continued to be myself, my number one priority (it sounds like a bad country for a mother to do this) and I took care of my body's needs, and then, within the limits of my power, I tried to take care of those around me as well .
The liver pains are more and more frequent, even when I don't eat, and the lungs hurt when I try to fill them with as much air as I can. The pains after the trampoline have improved, but they have not fully healed. I continue the diet and keep it properly, even on my birthday I didn't bother to taste a slice of cake, and it was good, you can celebrate without sugar.
I started, between periods, to experience daily bleeding which does not help at all the anemia I am dealing with. Dr. Dao recommended me an Obgyn oncologist and just yesterday I went to the appointment with him (Dr. Koon). After a very long wait, when the doctor finally came, he asked me why I was there. I had the same question from the doctor who had come a few minutes before him. Do they think that I am not aware of the seriousness of the situation? For them, it does not make sense for a 46-year-old woman with a family to refuse chemotherapy treatment. I asked the doctor if, based on the CT scan, he could tell me whether or not there is cancer in that area, and he said he couldn't tell. I asked him if the bleeding between periods is a symptom of the presence of cancer and his answer was: "Yes! It could be a completely different kind of cancer or it could be the same kind of cancer as in the breast." "So, is it possible that triple negative cancer can go down to the genital organs?" And he confirmed to me that it is possible. He asked me if I think it's worth it to go through a few weeks of recovery, taking into account that they have receded almost 6 months from the forecast of 6-12 months of life. I told him what my reservations are regarding the operation, first, the fact that in the recovery process after the operation, the body produces the growth, healing hormone, which could also help the growth of the cancer. He answered me in no uncertain terms, but that, really, after the operation, the immune system focuses on healing, leaving the cancer in second place and that I could help it grow. And the second limitation is my liver which hurts and bombards me with a lot of medication associated with the operation. The doctor ordered some blood tests and pelvic ultrasound. To my surprise, in the last 3 weeks, the hemoglobin increased from 9.2 to 9.9.
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