November 7, 2023

Journal Entry by Cristina Sarlea — November 8, 2023

Azi, Noiembrie 7 2023, sunt 2 luni de la operatia de cancer. Wow, ce multe lucruri s-au intamplat in doar 2 luni. Viata fuge de sub picioarele noastre, indiferent daca avem un diagnostic terminal sau nu. Si pentru fiecare zi avem o singura sansa sa o facem sa fie o zi traita cu folos, odata trecuta , ziua aceea nu se mai intoarce inapoi. 

De cand nu am mai scris , am inceput sa fac sonoterapia. Un tratament ce incepe dimineata cu o perfuzie albastra ( le-am trimis poze la ai mei sa le arat ca primesc perfuzii cu sange albastru :) ) dupa care urmeaza o ora in capsula biperbarica ( seamana cu sicriul alba ca zapadei, intimidant pentru primele 2-3 dati dar apoi intervine obisnuinta si nu mai e de speriat), dupa care corpul deja desenat cu multe patratele pe el primeste sonoterapia ce este de fapt ca un fel de ultrasound cu care se sta la fiecare patratica cateva minute ca undele sa intre si sa desfaca membrana protectoare a celulelor canceroase ca apoi sistemul imun sa le atace. Oxigenarea facuta in capsula si GCmaf ( o infectie ce face macrofagie in corp) ajuta sistemul imun sa fie tare in a ataca si distruge celulelle canceroase expuse. Tratamentul dureaza multe ore si cateodata e dureros ( arde si inteapa) si frustrant chiar pe alocuri dar se merita.   Termografia, pare a fi un proces ce normal ar fi sa lucreze, si lucreaza, dar ca sa aiba total success am nevoie ca Dumnezeu sa intervina si El sa lucreze vindecarea in trupul meu, si El o face, il simt la lucru pe toate planurile. Pe langa asta am primit si 2 "paturi" antitumorale cu care trebuie sa dorm noaptea. Nu sunt deloc comfortabile , dar ce mai conteaza inca un mic discomfort? Durerile mele de spate s-au ameliorat foarte mult si ma simt cu mult mai bine de cum eram cand am venit in Japonia. 

Saptamana trecuta , sora mea din Romania m-a vizitat si a stat cu mine o saptamana. Impreuna am vazut Tokyo. Mihaela ne-a fost ghid, am experimentat cum e cu trenul de viteza foarte mare ( 250km), din tren m-am bucurat sa pot zari la distanta Muntele Fuji, am revisitat Kyoto si am fost cu Mirela la o ceremonie de ceai ( matcha), am incercat in cateva zile sa imbinam tratamentul cu vizitele si sa cream multe aminitiri ce sa ramana peste ani. 

Cand am ramas din nou singura, eu cu gandurile mele, am realizat ca dieta mea in Japonia este precara si am intrat in posesia multor informatii despre dieta pentru pacientii oncologici, dieta anti-cancer. Orice as face ca si tratament , pana la urma toto sistemul imun este acela ce manaca celulele canceroase. M-am ghidat si am luat multe notite de la Marius Vaduva din Romania, un onco-nutritionist. Am inceput sa plang de una singura realizand cate greseli de dieta am facut...inca ma simt vinovata...si am ajuns la concluzia ca este mai bine sa imi fie foame decat sa manac ceva ce hraneste celulele de cancer, si cand ajung acasa o sa stiu unde sa imi gasesc toate cele necesare sa imi fac sucuri si salate necesare sa imi intaresc sistemul imun. Realizeze ca in lupta cu cancerul se duce fapt o lupta crunta cu mine insumi, sa renunt la ce imi place mie si la ce imi aduce mie comfort culinar si sa stau la ceea ce imi sustine corpul in lupta asta. In ce consta dieta mea? Nu zahar, nu fructe ( exceptie fac cateva afine, coacaze, grefe, mere verzi), nu lapte, nu cheese, nu oua, nu carne, nu carbohidrate. Ce a mai ramas? Salate fara otet, legume, multe seminte (nu arahide), uleiuri dar numai unele dintre ele. Se poate? deocamdata am 4 zile de cand am inceput. O sa fiu inconjurate de ispite culinare cand ajung acasa dar Domnul ma va intari si voi reusi si asta, ajutorul Lui.

Nu pot sa exprim cat sunt de nerabdatoare pentru ziua de maine. De ce? Dani, iubitul meu, vine la mine aici ( multumita unor oamnei dragi ce au facut venirea lui posibila) si va fi cu mine in ultimele 3 zile de tratament iar apoi zburam impreuna acasa. Zillele trecute vorbeam cu Anna si imi zicea ca desi sunt plecata de o luna, acasa se simte de parca as fi fost plecata de cel putin 3 luni. Asa se simte si aici la mine, lucuiesc in tara asta ce este intr-un fel casa mea pentru o perioada de timp si stiu ca necesar sa fiu aici, am venit pentru un scop, dar dorul de casa ma arde, abea astept sa ajung acasa. Nu este asa si cu viata noastra pe acest pamant? Locuim aici pentru o vreme ,caci suntem pe pamant lasati cu un anumit scop, si traim pana telul nostru pe pamant si cand e gata, scumpul nostru mantuitor, Isus, va veni sa ne duca acasa, la adevarata noastra casa dupa care sufletul nostru tanjeste de dor. 

Japonia oamenilor de rand , obisnuiti este o rutina zilnica in care fiecare isi vede de treaba lui fara prea multe interactii cu cei din jur. Oamenii sunt seriosi,imbracati in culori neutre, rar vezi zambete pe fetele lor, fiecare e ocupat cu gandurile si treburile lui. Singurele persoane ce le-am vazut fecitite cu stralucire in ochi si zambet pe buze si copilasii care inca nu sunt de scoala. Zonele turistice , in schimb, sunt colorate , asa ca in filma. Acolo si japonezii zambesc si se modeleaza dupa turisti ca acestia sa se simta bine si sa le faca multa vanzare. Mihaela imi zicea ca la japonezi, lucrul este pe primul loc iar apoi familia...trist. Si cum sa fie fericiti? Succesul profesional poate aduce fericire? Aduce o anumita satisfactie de memont si dispare repede. Vorbesc de japonezi, dar noi oare, nu facem la fel in goana noastra de a strange si a avea, lasand neglijate lucrurile de valoare vesnica?

Va las cu un verset din Matei 6:33 " Cautati mai intai imparatia lui Dumnezeu si neprihanirea Lui, si toate aceste lucruri vi se vor da pe deasupra"

Fiti binecuvantati!

English

Today, November 7, 2023, it is 2 months since the cancer surgery. Wow, so many things happened in just 2 months. Life runs from under our feet, regardless of whether we have a terminal diagnosis or not. And for every day we have only one chance to make it a day lived with benefit, once passed, that day never comes back.

Since I stopped writing, I started doing sonotherapy. A treatment that starts in the morning with a blue infusion (I sent pictures to my family to show them that I receive blue blood infusions :) ) followed by an hour in the hyperbaric capsule (it looks like a snow-white coffin, intimidating for the first 2 - 3 times but then the habit intervenes and there is no need to be scared anymore), after which the body already drawn with many squares on it, receives the sonotherapy which is actually like a kind of ultrasound with which you sit on each square for a few minutes so that the waves enter and to break the protective membrane of cancer cells so the immune system can then attack them. The oxygenation done in the capsule and GCmaf (an injection that causes macrophages in the body) helps the immune system to be strong in attacking and destroying the exposed cancer cells. The treatment lasts many hours and is sometimes painful (burns and stings) and frustrating even in places, but it is worth it. Sonotherapy seems to be a process that should normally work, and it works, but for it to be totally successful I need God to intervene and He works healing in my body, and He does, I can feel Him at work on all levels . In addition to this, I also received 2 anti-tumor blankets with which I have to sleep at night. They are not comfortable at all, but what does a little discomfort matter? My back pain has improved a lot and I feel much better than when I came to Japan.

Last week, my sister from Romania visited me and stayed with me for a week. Together we saw Tokyo. Mihaela was our guide, we experienced what it's like on the bullet train (250km), from the train I was happy to be able to see Mount Fuji in the distance, we revisited Kyoto and went with Mirela to a tea ceremony (matcha ), we tried in a few days to combine the treatment with the visits and create many memories that will remain for years to come.

When I was alone again, me with my thoughts, I realized that my diet in Japan is precarious and I came into possession of a lot of information about the diet for cancer patients, the anti-cancer diet. Whatever I do as a treatment, in the end, the immune system is the one that eats the cancer cells. I was guided and took many notes from Marius Vaduva from Romania, an onco-nutritionist. I started to cry alone realizing how many diet mistakes I made...I still feel guilty...and I came to the conclusion that it is better to be hungry than to eat something that feeds cancer cells, and when I arrive at home I will know where to find everything I need to make juices and salads to strengthen my immune system. I realize that in the fight against cancer there is actually a cruel fight with myself, to give up what I like and what brings me culinary comfort and to stick to what supports my body in this fight. What does my diet consist of? No sugar, no fruit (with the exception of a few blueberries, currants, grapefruits, green apples), no milk, no cheese, no eggs, no meat, no carbohydrates. What's left? Salads without vinegar, vegetables, many seeds (not peanuts), oils but only some of them. Is it doable? for now, I have 4 days since I started. I will be surrounded by culinary temptations when I get home, but the Lord will strengthen me and I will succeed in this too, with His help.

I can't express how excited I am for tomorrow. Why? Dani, the love of my life, is coming to me here (thanks to some dear friends who made his coming possible) and he will be with me for the last 3 days of treatment and then we will fly home together. The other day I was talking to Anna and she told me that even though I've been away for a month, at home it feels as if I've been away for at least 3 months. That's how it feels here too, I live in this country which has been, in a way my home for a period of time and I know that it is necessary to be here, I came for a purpose, but I feel homesick, I can't wait to arrive the home. Isn't it the same with our life on this earth? We live here for a while, because we are left on earth with a certain purpose, and we live until our end on earth and when it is ready, our dear savior, Jesus, will come to take us home, to our true home that our soul longs for of longing.

Japan for ordinary people is a daily routine in which everyone goes about his business without much interaction with those around him. People are serious, and dressed in neutral colors, you rarely see smiles on their faces, and everyone is busy with their thoughts and affairs. The only people I have seen with a sparkle in their eyes and a smile on their lips are the children who are not yet at school. The tourist areas, on the other hand, are colored, like in the movies. There, the Japanese also smile and model themselves after the tourists so that they feel good and make a lot of sales. Mihaela told me that with the Japanese, work comes first and then family...sad. And how to be happy? Can professional success bring happiness? It brings a certain satisfaction that disappears quickly. I'm talking about the Japanese, but don't we do the same in our rush to collect and have, neglecting things of eternal value?

I leave you with a verse from Matthew 6:33 "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you"

Be blessed!